Deadpool (2016) – SkullPoopL Is A Godsend


Like it or not, Superhero Movies are going to be around for quite some time and looking at how successful the Marvel Money Machine is and how the DC hype train is only just getting started, there’s not much anyone can do about it. I’m not complaining. Hell, if future Superhero Movies are done well like CAPT. AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER and THE DARK KNIGHT, why the fuck not bring that shit on.

The problem here is that when they were given enough time, these Superhero Movies found a formula that worked and stuck to it ever since, keeping things safe for all those dicksucker kids who wanted to see a man wearing weaponized armor listen to shitty jokes about soccer from a drunk British asshole whose Super Villain Name should’ve been Cock Tease instead of making the cast go through some legit development because obviously, shitty punchlines are more important.

With that obligatory IRON MAN 3 bashing over and done with, I’m going to get straight to the point right now:

Thank fuck for DEADPOOL (2016).

DEADPOOL currently exists in a level of its own as it is possibly the only successful Marvel movie to be made outside of a kid friendly studio without any intention of pandering to the PG-13 crowd. True, it’s not the first R-Rated comic book property to be adapted to the big screen, but it’s the very first one to make everything work and be more than just a guilty pleasure (sorry PUNISHER: WARZONE) and that alone proves that miracles and good exist in a world where a dead murderous fuckhead of a dictator can be worshiped as your dumbass country’s lord and savior.

After Fox fucked the character up so bad in X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (2009), everyone basically gave up all hope in seeing a shit-talking Anti-Hero go on a rampage on the big screen but thanks to Ryan Reynolds’ undying determination, redemption for Wade Wilson has finally arrived in the form of a righteously R-Rated DEADPOOL movie that clearly doesn’t give a fuck about anything. The glorious thing about DEADPOOL is the fact that when it comes to the R-rated stuff, it doesn’t hold back on anything. From brain matter hitting concrete to sex jokes to a juvenile excess of my favorite four letter word that starts with an “F,” DEADPOOL revels in the fact that its leaked test footage forced Fox’s hand to greenlight the R-Rating when they kept trying to forcefeed audiences a sanitized PG-13 version. At worst, DEADPOOL’s just downright immature and too reliant on pop culture but its jokes and use of the R-Rating thankfully never sink to the lows that were established by the self-indulgent nature of Seth MacFarlane’s garbage. The jokes here may be childish, but at least they don’t scrape the bottom of the septic tank for ideas.

The casting here is pretty much gold, especially Ryan Reynolds as the titular character. Say what you will about his pathetic Rom-Com past but here we see Reynolds at his best and least restrained, and by god is it a fucking blast. If this were any other Superhero Movie, I’d ramble about how everyone who isn’t named after the movie’s title was a boring stereotype or a copy from some other movie but since this is a movie called DEADPOOL, that shit gets a slight pass because at least the titular characters calls everyone out on their bullshit. It’s rare we see some idiot in spandex look at themselves and laugh at how ridiculous their bright colored BDSM leather gear is and that’s what makes Deadpool so special: he knows he’s stuck in an absurd fictional situation and he doesn’t give a fuck about it.

Look, this is a “hero” who openly talks about jerking off and happily shares stories about his adventurous sex life to anyone in his vicinity. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie.

Right off the bat, DEADPOOL shows its lack of shits to give when it starts with one of the funniest and most kinetic opening sequences I’ve seen in recent memory, where every single detail in the scene is a hidden joke that’s guaranteed to make someone’s day. There’s only so much you can do with an Action Movie that relies heavily on firearms and practical choreography but thankfully, DEADPOOL manages to make things feel fresh and entertaining while throwing in a lot blood and laughs along the way. Factor in the aforementioned meta-comedy and everything that made the character so popular in the comics in the first place is brought to life in the best ways imaginable.

While that may sound like the perfect R-Rated comic book movie, the final product isn’t. The thing is, at the end of the day and despite all the shit-talking, DEADPOOL is still a Superhero Movie and it sadly didn’t do much to deviate from the established safety nets. When severed heads weren’t flying around to the tune of 90’s music, the movie literally grinds to a halt with its origin story half and while it’s actually praiseworthy that the writers went down the BATMAN BEGINS route and spliced flashbacks in between the present story instead of telling things in a predictable chronological way, it was still a drag. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice seeing some much needed backstory and character development to establish what made Wade Wilson the merc he is today but these scenes tended to go longer than what was necessary, making me impatient for the movie to get back to what I was here for: Deadpool in his red leotards causing as much chaos as possible while dissing everyone in his path.

When it wasn’t distracted by the need for a romantic subplot and superhero origins, DEADPOOL was one of the most creative and refreshing takes on a genre nearing dangerous levels of saturation, with both middle fingers raised at the biggest Superhero Movies at the moment. When it WAS, though, it was a generic love story with super powers thrown in the mix along with a damsel in distress, a swear jar and a dildo. It felt weird when during the present scenes, Deadpool would comically remark at how stupid the events he’s in are but for some reason play everything straightforward during the flashbacks without a hint of irony outside of an occasional snarky side comment.

Making fun of these tiresome tropes via witty narration doesn’t equate to parody or commentary, it just shows someone pointing out an obvious flaw and not doing jackshit about it. But since the annoying need for an origin story’s out of the way and a sequel has been officially confirmed, maybe we’ll get to see Deadpool at his 110% best in a few years’ time because right now, the sudden shifts in mood disjointed the overall experience.

But try as it might, that issue up there doesn’t have a hope of demolishing the fact that DEADPOOL was a joy to watch. In a time when (in the titular character’s words) almost every Superhero is a Teacher’s Pet or a brooding asshole straight out of highschool, DEADPOOL’s swagger was more than just a crowd pleaser: it was a fucking breath of fresh air.

Ryan Reynolds finally got his dream of slaughtering people while insulting them to become reality and we’re with him all the way in celebrating the (correct) cinematic adaptation of the Internet’s favorite walking meme in a movie Superhero fans don’t just want but one that they rightfully deserve. Even if its heavy dependence on the Superhero Formula was constricting, DEADPOOL was still a great example of liberated R-Rated creative genius at work that will surely serve as the standard for future R-Rated Superhero outings.



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